Voices’ Blog

Racial Truth & Reconciliation Week Story: An Excerpt From The Journal Of My Childhood

Posted:  -  By: Chlo'e Edwards

December 15, 2008:

Today was just the weirdest day of my life. It’s been almost a month into school, and I came into the house, put my bags down, and then talked a little to my sister. The house had a cigarette odor or something in it. Every second went by slow. Then out of the blue, “Hey Kids.” It scared the crap out of me. My dad just kept walking to his favorite spot, the kitchen. He put some sausage on the grill, and then came Momma. “Talk to them!” she screamed.  She kept screaming other things too. My dad just said, “I need some fresh air.” My siblings and I just looked at them. We held our dogs since they kept jumping on him. Then, when the argument was over, my dad agreed to apologize for being gone for four months over the summer. He told us what happened. Well, let’s just say he got stabbed when he was out, and he had to get staples on his stomach. We didn’t want him to come back. My brother did, but my sister and I didn’t. My sister was so upset that she cried on top of the third floor steps. She packed a bag just in case. Momma said my dad just came back from north side. We don’t know north side or what’s in north side. It’s best to always have a plan. Have you ever packed a bag just in case of something going wrong?

I guess our true feelings showed, because we got in trouble for having an attitude, but who wouldn’t have an attitude? Momma said she was going to make us sleep in the garage with the field mice. We went in there for a few minutes. Then, my mom came and got us. She made us sleep on the sofa instead.

My dad ran off again, and he ended up going to jail, again. Momma is talking about him as we speak. I know it’s hard for her, but why does she keep taking him back? She’s changed in so many ways. I cannot explain it. I wish she would come back to us. I wish she would be my mom again. I understand how hard all of this is for her, but she doesn’t have to put all of these experiences on us. All of this stuff going on at home is just too much. When I get to school, most of the time, I leave my home life behind me. Sometimes, I just can’t get over it.

Mom bailed him out again. He came back looking ten times better. The jail barbershop hooked him up good. They also made him run or walk everyday, so he lost a couple of pounds. I was mad, but it’s hard for me to hold a grudge. He got locked up for stealing a book from staples. They found a couple of other charges on him too- like not paying child support. We visited him when he was in there. There was not much to talk about, but he is back now. He does bring more humor into the house. I do have to admit that, but sometimes he plays too much.

He Leaves
like the Leaves on a tree
on bare branches

into cycles
like seasons
then Comes like Summer Heat

he leaves
he falls

We- the offSprings of Summer’s Heat
are ruminants.


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